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  Discovery | Collective
Aggroculture
Track #9

 
Awake. The blue light of the cable box is buzzing. Quiet. Dark.
I lay. Staring at nothing. Afraid to move so as not to completely bring myself out of calm/almost slumber.

While I wait for sleep to come, I imagine my mom saying “Nothing good happens after midnight”. Well, mom, there is absolutely nothing happening.
Somewhere out there: a drug deal is happening. Someone is taking advantage of someone. Someone is puking their guts out in some shitty bathroom stall. Someone is breaking into a house or car. Someone is getting ready to pull a trigger. Someone is on a bad trip.  Someone is hurting someone.  Someone is….hurting.

But, someone out there is: nursing a baby, tending to a dying parent, working, listening to their teenager talk about what is bothering them, bingewatching Breaking Bad, reading just one more chapter of the best book ever, or…. Just awake

I look at my phone. 2:45am. No messages – I’m relieved and bummed for some reason.
It smells in here. Did I forget to put the leftovers away? Did the dog get into the garbage?  Did I shower today?  I can’t remember.

I get up. The kitchen is straight. I feel obliged to look in the fridge.  It looks the same.
I look at my kids.  Sleeping hard.  Little snores, tucked in bodies, bad breath, no tension on their faces, messy rooms.  Beautiful.
Jealous of their sleep, I find my way back to bed.  This pillow sucks.  Maybe the smell is coming from it.

The furnace kicks on and brings some much-welcomed noises to the house.  I think of my transition into this new house.  I think of mom’s transition into another world.  I think of my kids’ soon transition into adulthood.  I’m scared and elated for us all.

I put the pillow under the bed and wad up a throw blanket to use as a makeshift pillow.  I think this is better.  I power up the TV.  There isn’t shit on.  How much do I pay for these 100 channels?  At least on the radio, they play some really great music at night – they seem to take risks with music choice in the middle of the night.  I realize I don’t have a radio in the house.

I’m typing this 3:48 am. I hear mom saying that nothing good happens after midnight.  Well, if that’s the case about this blog post……  shit
 

Vowel Pellet​
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  • Home
  • Suggestions
    • Albums
    • Jukebox Covers
    • Edgars Ear
    • HERNDON 30 THE STONES
    • O'Brien 30 NEIL YOUNG
    • EDGAR 30 BOB DYLAN
    • Gravyd 30 bob dylan
    • Dylan Albums
    • Wednesday Soundcheck
  • Participants
    • GravyD
    • Vowel Pellet
    • ​Michael Sell
    • FEN FEN
    • THAFOSTERKID
    • The Shark
    • Felix
  • Collections
    • Ticket Stubs
    • Aggroculture
    • Lost List From Strangers
    • Machine Messages
    • 737 St.
    • Rory Steele
    • AURORA
  • Links