Aggroculture
Track #9
Awake. The blue light of the cable box is buzzing. Quiet. Dark.
I lay. Staring at nothing. Afraid to move so as not to completely bring myself out of calm/almost slumber.
While I wait for sleep to come, I imagine my mom saying “Nothing good happens after midnight”. Well, mom, there is absolutely nothing happening.
Somewhere out there: a drug deal is happening. Someone is taking advantage of someone. Someone is puking their guts out in some shitty bathroom stall. Someone is breaking into a house or car. Someone is getting ready to pull a trigger. Someone is on a bad trip. Someone is hurting someone. Someone is….hurting.
But, someone out there is: nursing a baby, tending to a dying parent, working, listening to their teenager talk about what is bothering them, bingewatching Breaking Bad, reading just one more chapter of the best book ever, or…. Just awake
I look at my phone. 2:45am. No messages – I’m relieved and bummed for some reason.
It smells in here. Did I forget to put the leftovers away? Did the dog get into the garbage? Did I shower today? I can’t remember.
I get up. The kitchen is straight. I feel obliged to look in the fridge. It looks the same.
I look at my kids. Sleeping hard. Little snores, tucked in bodies, bad breath, no tension on their faces, messy rooms. Beautiful.
Jealous of their sleep, I find my way back to bed. This pillow sucks. Maybe the smell is coming from it.
The furnace kicks on and brings some much-welcomed noises to the house. I think of my transition into this new house. I think of mom’s transition into another world. I think of my kids’ soon transition into adulthood. I’m scared and elated for us all.
I put the pillow under the bed and wad up a throw blanket to use as a makeshift pillow. I think this is better. I power up the TV. There isn’t shit on. How much do I pay for these 100 channels? At least on the radio, they play some really great music at night – they seem to take risks with music choice in the middle of the night. I realize I don’t have a radio in the house.
I’m typing this 3:48 am. I hear mom saying that nothing good happens after midnight. Well, if that’s the case about this blog post…… shit
Vowel Pellet
Track #9
Awake. The blue light of the cable box is buzzing. Quiet. Dark.
I lay. Staring at nothing. Afraid to move so as not to completely bring myself out of calm/almost slumber.
While I wait for sleep to come, I imagine my mom saying “Nothing good happens after midnight”. Well, mom, there is absolutely nothing happening.
Somewhere out there: a drug deal is happening. Someone is taking advantage of someone. Someone is puking their guts out in some shitty bathroom stall. Someone is breaking into a house or car. Someone is getting ready to pull a trigger. Someone is on a bad trip. Someone is hurting someone. Someone is….hurting.
But, someone out there is: nursing a baby, tending to a dying parent, working, listening to their teenager talk about what is bothering them, bingewatching Breaking Bad, reading just one more chapter of the best book ever, or…. Just awake
I look at my phone. 2:45am. No messages – I’m relieved and bummed for some reason.
It smells in here. Did I forget to put the leftovers away? Did the dog get into the garbage? Did I shower today? I can’t remember.
I get up. The kitchen is straight. I feel obliged to look in the fridge. It looks the same.
I look at my kids. Sleeping hard. Little snores, tucked in bodies, bad breath, no tension on their faces, messy rooms. Beautiful.
Jealous of their sleep, I find my way back to bed. This pillow sucks. Maybe the smell is coming from it.
The furnace kicks on and brings some much-welcomed noises to the house. I think of my transition into this new house. I think of mom’s transition into another world. I think of my kids’ soon transition into adulthood. I’m scared and elated for us all.
I put the pillow under the bed and wad up a throw blanket to use as a makeshift pillow. I think this is better. I power up the TV. There isn’t shit on. How much do I pay for these 100 channels? At least on the radio, they play some really great music at night – they seem to take risks with music choice in the middle of the night. I realize I don’t have a radio in the house.
I’m typing this 3:48 am. I hear mom saying that nothing good happens after midnight. Well, if that’s the case about this blog post…… shit
Vowel Pellet
