Aisle Eleven

Sometimes you find a dud.  I was psyched to glance down and see a pink post-it in the parking lot at the local big box crafting supplies store.  I would love to find a list and try to figure out what kind of project someone was going to attempt!!!  Instead, all I found was:

Cards Gift Cards
Call me selfish, but who the hell needs a list for those?  The wind left my sails a little bit.
​
Then, fast-forward about a month and my daughter found this little gem in a shopping cart at the grocery store!! Yes!  The wind has returned!
​Let me start out by saying that it’s written on really pretty paper.  We even smelled it.  Is that weird? 
​At first glance I see that the list alternates between print and cursive – kinda making me see the big picture of the “stationary-is-beautiful-but-it-doesn’t-smell-good” scenario.  You know what I mean.
Let’s begin​

White Bread
​Ugh!  Make America Boring Again!
Coffee
Maybe some boring, bland blend?  There is an afterthought glob of words next to it boasting

“Max/reg gr/2small”. 
They may be redeeming themselves with some robust rocket fuel. 
Milk
Could be skim – could be red cap.  They don’t seem to linger in the middle
OJ
Either Sunny D or Ultra pulp!
Yogurt
Furiously scratched off. Too many choices?  Maybe when they were at the store, a fellow shopper was hogging the whole section for, like 45 minutes, and they gave up?  I hate when that happens!  I’m generally a calm person, but that shit makes my blood boil!  Screw the yogurt!  On to the eggs!
Eggs
Doubt they go for the medium sized eggs.  Who sorts those things into sizes anyway?  Do they make the chickens sort their own eggs?  How sad!
There’s a line separating the top and bottom of the list. Maybe the top is the roommate’s list and the bottom is their own list? Two separate stores? Someone living two separate lives?  Just a fancy line?
Coffee Filters
4C is written next to it.  Do filters come in different sizes?  Is C like a cup size?
Sugar Cookies
Back to the bland. 
Grape Jam
Maybe for the sugar cookies?  Might be kind of interesting – if you are into grape.  I’m not
​Camay Soap
What is this?  Fancy beauty products reflective of the fanciful life dictated by the stationary?  I should only hope so!​

​Synopsis: 
​Citizen yearning for the fancy life with stationary and luxury bath products while dining on white bread and sugar cookies.  Afraid of commitment but trying.

Vowel Pellet