Lost Lists From Strangers
Found February 21, 2020
Found at Meijer Thrifty Acres - is that still their full name?
Did they reach such status to be a single name like Cher, Bono or Madonna? Huh
So, during this pandemic, I’ve found 3 lists. I limit my shopping stints/stunts to once a week. I know there’s a lot more out there. Like dog poo in the yard in springtime, bountiful I am sure!
So, let’s break this list down!!
Yellow, practical lined paper pad – organized and maybe predictable. It’s that legal pad yellow. Maybe a sense of control?
Pretty nice handwriting although I can see some additions in a different writing style. List was handed to a spouse/neighbor/courier to retrieve? Bossy? Maybe. Because of the pandemic? Probably.
Peppers – Gr + Red. I take it these are pepper colors. Or perhaps it’s a throwback to Tony the Tiger due to the wild popularity of the wildly disturbing Tiger King? “Peppers – they’re grrrrrrr-red!” Maybe
Cakes Mushrooms 2 – Underlined so maybe it’s a critical item(s) or an afterthought. Also, two very different foods. Caked mushrooms? That’s horrible. Mushroom cake? I don’t even know where to go with that. And two of them? The two isn’t underlined. This confuses me.
Bread – staple. Looking for what’s left
Butter – same
Lunchmeat – same. Shit – hope there’s more than just pickle loaf left. OMG MAYBE THEY LIKE THAT
Cheese sliced and grated – are these two different cheese types? Or a specific process to break one cheese type down? The poor deli person has to slice it then grate it? Talk about rough on the knuckles. What is wrong with you? There’s a fucking pandemic going on.
Eggs – good luck with that
Chicken wings and legs – So they’re not into boobs. Huh
Milk – good luck with that
Coffee – McCafe (in original handwriting)/Tim Horton reg medR (in amended handwriting) – Rival big-chain restaurant coffee! These two people live under the same roof, sheltering in place and are obviously at odds with coffee preferences. Is one Canadian and one American? Is there some underlying tension? Did the shopper buy both? Back in the good ole days: ya know, a month ago – did they frequent McDonalds and Tim Hortons for coffee and exchange selfies with said drinks out of spite? Will this trigger a North American conflict? I should alert the authorities….
Aspirin 8/mg – will Tim Horton’s sympathizer buy an increased strength in hopes to poison Team McCafe? I’m looking at potential grand jury evidence here!!
Catfood – OK. There’s now a four-legged creature involved. No specific brand/type. Will they buy just what’s available? I’ve found that changing up diets leads to gassy pets. Maybe this is a strategic plan
Litter Cat – LOL!!! Tidy Cat (in the secondary handwriting) – did they write this just to be a dick?
Chlorox Bathroom Cleaner – good luck with that
Spaggetti Sauce – 2 I appreciate the spelling. Also appreciate the lack of any pasta on the list. Living on the edge
And, just as one last jab, written in the secondary, Canadian sociopath writing:
toilet paper
Call poison control, we got a live one
Found February 21, 2020
Found at Meijer Thrifty Acres - is that still their full name?
Did they reach such status to be a single name like Cher, Bono or Madonna? Huh
So, during this pandemic, I’ve found 3 lists. I limit my shopping stints/stunts to once a week. I know there’s a lot more out there. Like dog poo in the yard in springtime, bountiful I am sure!
So, let’s break this list down!!
Yellow, practical lined paper pad – organized and maybe predictable. It’s that legal pad yellow. Maybe a sense of control?
Pretty nice handwriting although I can see some additions in a different writing style. List was handed to a spouse/neighbor/courier to retrieve? Bossy? Maybe. Because of the pandemic? Probably.
Peppers – Gr + Red. I take it these are pepper colors. Or perhaps it’s a throwback to Tony the Tiger due to the wild popularity of the wildly disturbing Tiger King? “Peppers – they’re grrrrrrr-red!” Maybe
Cakes Mushrooms 2 – Underlined so maybe it’s a critical item(s) or an afterthought. Also, two very different foods. Caked mushrooms? That’s horrible. Mushroom cake? I don’t even know where to go with that. And two of them? The two isn’t underlined. This confuses me.
Bread – staple. Looking for what’s left
Butter – same
Lunchmeat – same. Shit – hope there’s more than just pickle loaf left. OMG MAYBE THEY LIKE THAT
Cheese sliced and grated – are these two different cheese types? Or a specific process to break one cheese type down? The poor deli person has to slice it then grate it? Talk about rough on the knuckles. What is wrong with you? There’s a fucking pandemic going on.
Eggs – good luck with that
Chicken wings and legs – So they’re not into boobs. Huh
Milk – good luck with that
Coffee – McCafe (in original handwriting)/Tim Horton reg medR (in amended handwriting) – Rival big-chain restaurant coffee! These two people live under the same roof, sheltering in place and are obviously at odds with coffee preferences. Is one Canadian and one American? Is there some underlying tension? Did the shopper buy both? Back in the good ole days: ya know, a month ago – did they frequent McDonalds and Tim Hortons for coffee and exchange selfies with said drinks out of spite? Will this trigger a North American conflict? I should alert the authorities….
Aspirin 8/mg – will Tim Horton’s sympathizer buy an increased strength in hopes to poison Team McCafe? I’m looking at potential grand jury evidence here!!
Catfood – OK. There’s now a four-legged creature involved. No specific brand/type. Will they buy just what’s available? I’ve found that changing up diets leads to gassy pets. Maybe this is a strategic plan
Litter Cat – LOL!!! Tidy Cat (in the secondary handwriting) – did they write this just to be a dick?
Chlorox Bathroom Cleaner – good luck with that
Spaggetti Sauce – 2 I appreciate the spelling. Also appreciate the lack of any pasta on the list. Living on the edge
And, just as one last jab, written in the secondary, Canadian sociopath writing:
toilet paper
Call poison control, we got a live one
