The Witch
Our first grocery list submission! I’m not the only lucky one who finds these beauties! Thanks, Amber, for thinking of me when you found this! Let us begin……
Found at Kroger. Thrify, enjoys convenience of large supermarket.
This was discovered in April yet has a Paganistic witch signature icon. “Notes from a witch”. What the hell kind of place is Kroger? I must look closer at their “spice” selections. Behind the black peppercorns or Mrs. Dash may be hiding ”Extract of Lizard Lip” or “Organic Dried Dragon Talon Lint”. Shit. I’ve been oblivious! If you look closely, the mastermind of this dreadful document separates each item not with commas but by tiny pentagrams.
The list is broken down into meals for each day of the week. Damn, this witch is an organized control freak. Don’t fuck with potion night! Maybe that’s Tuesday with the non-descriptive “Roast”. Now I’m scared.
Starts with Sun (actually, Mon was written first, then scratched out. The witch almost forgot Sunday? Maybe her powers initially forced her to forget “The Lord’s Day”?) Burgers, buns (not crossed off. Glad she left all the other shoppers’ buns alone!), Jack’s Potato Salad – possibly made with Essence of Jack? Ew. Then 2 Sweet – illegible word. Maybe taters? Haters? Raiders? Didn’t they move?
Mon. Enchiladas. Ooh! Fiesta night! Beef, sauce, cheese, sauce. Note that sauce is listed twice here. Was she afraid to detail the second secret sauce because it may only be found in an area supervised by a Pagan Kroger employee who marks his evil sauces “manager’s special”.
Tues. Roast. Meat, onion, g pepper, gravy. Since she must purchase gravy, it must be very lean meat as she cannot make any pan gravy from the drippings. Meat must be a marathon running vegan? Ugh. Turn on the exhause fan! It’s potion night!
Wed. Chicken, noodles, cream of chick (what? Like a woman? Ick!), broccoli, crescent rolls. Are the crescent rolls to celebrate the crescent moon?
Thurs. Stuffed shells. Shells, sauce, motz, eggplant. Vegetarian night? Well, she’s not laying off the sauce…
Fri. Pizza. Dough, cheese. Most boring pizza ever! Wait. I better shut up before I become a topping….
by Vowel Pellet
Our first grocery list submission! I’m not the only lucky one who finds these beauties! Thanks, Amber, for thinking of me when you found this! Let us begin……
Found at Kroger. Thrify, enjoys convenience of large supermarket.
This was discovered in April yet has a Paganistic witch signature icon. “Notes from a witch”. What the hell kind of place is Kroger? I must look closer at their “spice” selections. Behind the black peppercorns or Mrs. Dash may be hiding ”Extract of Lizard Lip” or “Organic Dried Dragon Talon Lint”. Shit. I’ve been oblivious! If you look closely, the mastermind of this dreadful document separates each item not with commas but by tiny pentagrams.
The list is broken down into meals for each day of the week. Damn, this witch is an organized control freak. Don’t fuck with potion night! Maybe that’s Tuesday with the non-descriptive “Roast”. Now I’m scared.
Starts with Sun (actually, Mon was written first, then scratched out. The witch almost forgot Sunday? Maybe her powers initially forced her to forget “The Lord’s Day”?) Burgers, buns (not crossed off. Glad she left all the other shoppers’ buns alone!), Jack’s Potato Salad – possibly made with Essence of Jack? Ew. Then 2 Sweet – illegible word. Maybe taters? Haters? Raiders? Didn’t they move?
Mon. Enchiladas. Ooh! Fiesta night! Beef, sauce, cheese, sauce. Note that sauce is listed twice here. Was she afraid to detail the second secret sauce because it may only be found in an area supervised by a Pagan Kroger employee who marks his evil sauces “manager’s special”.
Tues. Roast. Meat, onion, g pepper, gravy. Since she must purchase gravy, it must be very lean meat as she cannot make any pan gravy from the drippings. Meat must be a marathon running vegan? Ugh. Turn on the exhause fan! It’s potion night!
Wed. Chicken, noodles, cream of chick (what? Like a woman? Ick!), broccoli, crescent rolls. Are the crescent rolls to celebrate the crescent moon?
Thurs. Stuffed shells. Shells, sauce, motz, eggplant. Vegetarian night? Well, she’s not laying off the sauce…
Fri. Pizza. Dough, cheese. Most boring pizza ever! Wait. I better shut up before I become a topping….
by Vowel Pellet
