In a fit of desperation and location convenience, my companion and I found ourselves at our neighborhood Kroger (I try to avoid going to that monstrosity, but I buckled… yes…. It happens). The store wasn’t busy. We grabbed our small list of items and got in a long line of us waiting for the self checkout (that the was only means of getting out of the store). The customer in line behind us was huffing and puffing and making guttural statements that we all understood as pissed. After 20 minutes (yes, for real) we sensed he gave up. Not died, but simply left the store, his abandoned cart behind us. My companion spotted a piece of paper. She nodded at me. I nodded back. She approached the cart. On top of some groceries was a sheet of paper with the words “FUCK YOU KROGER!”. With excitement brewing and also irritation of our own purgatory-like checkout wait, we saw that there was a grocery list on the other side of the statement piece. While scanning the list, we noticed behind us that the customer returned to the cart. We froze. My companion slowly wadded up the list/expletive in her hand. Did they return for list? Hate note remorse? Just a another look at the hellscape that is the line for the check-out? We won’t know because they just lingered by the cart for a moment then left again.
Here is the grocery list that sparked said man’s nightmare/fit.
Milk – basic staple. The cows concur
Eggs – hens concur
Peanut butter – im thinking he goes for extra salty (we did not investigate the items in the cart)
Cheese – pretty vague. I’m thinking maybe a pepper jack?
Chips – salty and spicey I’m sure.
Lettuce – the hot head needs a cold head of lettuce
Tomato – possibly for throwing purposes (note: only one)
Bananas – possibly not for eating, but for strategically placing the peels on high foot traffic areas for a method of biological warfare
Cat Food – animal lover? Or is he assembling a feline army?
Out shine – I had to research this. They are popsicles! That’s a wild card on this list. And you know this dude loves sour ass lemon flavor!
Synopsis – I admit it’s not fair to paint him as bitter prior to the shopping event – but I’m threading these list items, the statement left for Kroger Corp as well as the handwriting analysis. He is bitter. He is literate and he’s out there somewhere ready to spring. Be careful out there everybody!
Vowel Pellet
Here is the grocery list that sparked said man’s nightmare/fit.
Milk – basic staple. The cows concur
Eggs – hens concur
Peanut butter – im thinking he goes for extra salty (we did not investigate the items in the cart)
Cheese – pretty vague. I’m thinking maybe a pepper jack?
Chips – salty and spicey I’m sure.
Lettuce – the hot head needs a cold head of lettuce
Tomato – possibly for throwing purposes (note: only one)
Bananas – possibly not for eating, but for strategically placing the peels on high foot traffic areas for a method of biological warfare
Cat Food – animal lover? Or is he assembling a feline army?
Out shine – I had to research this. They are popsicles! That’s a wild card on this list. And you know this dude loves sour ass lemon flavor!
Synopsis – I admit it’s not fair to paint him as bitter prior to the shopping event – but I’m threading these list items, the statement left for Kroger Corp as well as the handwriting analysis. He is bitter. He is literate and he’s out there somewhere ready to spring. Be careful out there everybody!
Vowel Pellet
