Aisle 20
February 2022
 
Found this beaut in a grocery cart in the
Meijer parking lot.  Paper is thin and
almost fabric-like from being handled
often and/or tucked in pocket.  At least it
wasn’t warm when I found it. 
​Fun penmanship, possibly
​written by a male.
  
Kleenix – love this spelling.  I know that’s
exactly how they pronounce it.  Possibly
on the list for emotional reasons. 
Maybe they have COVID?
UGH – again glad the list wasn’t warm.
Bananas – Potassium Boost?  Or did they
get one of those specific banana hooks
for the kitchen counter? 
Is this shit just for show?
Yougart – Hey! You! Go gart yourself
OJ – That curly O is kinda cute.  But they
better not be buying that
​pulp free variety.  Pussy
Miralax – Taking back that cute thing now
Prune Juice – Crossed off.  Hopefully
because they changed their minds.  OMG. 
Imagine a Miralax/Prune Juice Cocktail?! 
RIP your asshole
You  Ham – Bone-in?  haha
Milk cream – What?  We now gotta
differentiate between like
Hand/Milk/Antifungal/Bryl? 
Nothing else on this list is that specific.
Paper plates – Party? 
Can they not wash dishes? 
Is their water shut off?  Better not be with
that nasty ass Miralax cocktail party.
Dog Food – this absolutely has to be an
emotional support animal.
Obvious last minute addition to the list:
Look for lamb shank – Appreciate the
eyeballs in the O’s.  Don’t appreciate lamb
at all though.  Gross.  And I really don’t
appreciate anyone shanking lambs. 
Wait – are they gonna make a shank
out of that ham bone? 
​Then they buy some
Kleenix because they figure they are
gonna cry about it?  WTF? 
WHAT ABOUT THE LAMB?
​
 Synopsis: Pack your shit and get
 out of my town

by Vowel Pellet